时代的悲喜剧——品《霸王别姬》

今天，是我十八周岁前最后一个六一儿童节。为了不让这个多少有点珍贵意义的日子在日复一日的奔波忙碌中消弭于无形，我决定冒着可能被不速的阵雨浇成感冒的风险，前去紫荆足球场参加名曰“‘创维电视’清华大学第一届紫荆露天电影节”的复合露天娱乐晚会。

在长逾两小时的电影正餐之前，自然照例是有一段智力&人品的游戏的。在几近无聊地用现发的一点零食体验完蛋糕炸弹的诡异音乐、打发掉那两位娱乐主持人的智力比拼型的折腾之后，终于见到了the feast for tonight——《霸王别姬》。

之前，看过一些海报和简短的影评，总觉得这部香港大片也不过如此，内在的价值大约不大。不过，今晚切身体验，所谓“身历其境“，于它的看法果然有了质的改变。

该片从儿时的小石头和小豆子开始，以纵向的时间轴——时代的发展与更迭——以及横向的人物关系网——以段小楼、程蝶衣与菊仙的微妙关系为主——来组织整个情节体系。开场以一系列快速滑动的镜头，辅以充满诡异阴沉气息的背景暗音，表现程蝶衣六指被削正、手又遭摧残，甚至遭受同伴排斥的不幸遭际，但也反衬出师哥小石头（后之段小楼）对他的体贴关心——不忍心看他因背错“我本是女娇娃，不是那男儿郎……“而屡屡被毒打，甚至不顾自己被打，也要让师弟逃出科班。

……

春去秋来，几度寒暑——他们开始排演《霸王别姬》：程蝶衣之饰虞姬，段小楼之饰霸王。日久天长，加上长期的性认同错位（所谓“戏痴、戏迷、戏疯子，进了戏出不来“，诚如小楼所言），程蝶衣逐步对师哥产生了恋情：他逐步从只能本能地唱出”我本是男儿郎，不是那女娇娃……“，走到能自然地饰演楚霸王唯一钟爱的虞姬，并且直接地对小楼说”我要和你一起唱一辈子的戏；一辈子——不能少一周、一天、一刻……“这样一个”渐入至境，雌雄同在“的地步。这是喜，还是悲？

是喜？是愁？浪里分不清欢喜悲愁……

此时，花满楼的头牌妓女菊仙闯入了段程两人原本可以平静——虽然不太正常的生活中。对正常性生活的需求逐步激发起段小楼对不正常的同性关系的厌倦，从而引起了程蝶衣的强烈不满。他用种种方式向段小楼表达抗议和激烈的反对，因为事实上，段小楼已成为他生命中不可或缺的一部分。之后，命运鬼使神差地让这三个人在种种畸形或正常的关系网中挣扎着沉浮，在这个同样充满着畸形与诡异、但仍然在不断发展的社会和时代之中。

之后，历经抗战、解放战争、文革诸时代，历史指向1977年。这期间，发生了太多太多的恩怨情仇，太多太多的勾心斗角……而在文革的最后一波浪潮终于逐渐平息的时候，展现在我们面前的，却只是：在终于回归正常、只是略显苍老的程段二人所演绎的霸王别姬中，虞姬最终用一把真正的宝剑自刎了——于是，程蝶衣就以这样一种方式告别了人间。

……

槛菊愁烟兰泣露，罗幕轻寒，燕子双飞去。明月不谙离恨苦，斜光到晓穿朱户。
昨夜西风凋碧树， 独上高楼， 望尽天涯路。 欲寄彩笺兼尺素，山长水阔知何处。（《蝶恋花》， 宋·晏殊）

谢亦萧

2007.6.1夜 于 绛逸阁

Justyre

Jun 1st, 2007 at Cab of Justyre

寿十八赋

今日忽稍感不安，惘然若有所失者。略一凝思，乃骤忆之：明乃卿一十八周岁之庆也！顿感异地索居，耳迟目钝，至于重要如卿之生日者，竟几乎忘却——好在终于没有忘。
论及生日，首先想到“寿怡红群芳开夜宴”和“不了情暂撮土为香”。道理呢？虽然二者同为宝玉作主人公，可一个是大伙儿热热闹闹庆贺宝玉的生日，一个却是宝玉独个儿为殇缘于己的金钏的周年神伤。一生一死，一众一寡，一热一冷，一喜一悲——生而为人，大抵如斯。“生是福缘，死亦造化”，佛家的精微奥秘未必值得去彻解；而在生日的祈福里，在内心的许愿中，我们又参悟了何种真谛呢？

……

人之一生，形神在世。尔其有思，飞燕逾野。惺惺相惜，故而成友；天地人物，无所不交。或歌于旷野，或游于闹市；或奔驰大漠，或静处斗室。然众生之择，俾成自然之运。农林牧副，取我欲取；矿采江断，适我之意。则或出一二神交于亿万生灵之士，指点江山，激扬文字，阔论其得失。然取者依旧，则所论何为哉？适其意者依旧，则所谈何效哉？

——是我辈新青年大有可为之际也！

“大造本无方，缘何是应往？”如妙玉之凄叹“既自空中来，应向空中去”乎？非也！必有是叹，或应更为“既自自然来，应向自然去”。何则？人之为人，草木为本；皮囊渐成，万念生根；此所异于物者也。然有所异于物，并非不是物；物物人人，本质无别。治人可虑治物之法，待物可以待人之心。欣闻君有志举毕生之力献于此业，何逆料吾亦志献一生于斯哉！足见志天下者思迩，而行千里者类备也……

天地有大美，遐迩同有知；
聊作乱七文——十八贺寿诗……

谢亦萧

2007.2.1夜 于 江南轩

Justyre

Feb 1st, 2007 at Pavilion of Southwaters

【注】此文后经验证，非发与任一特定友人……乃个人独遣耳。

回忆Kiyumena

人生在世不过沧海一粟，珍贵的生命对于浩邈的宇宙而言无异于弹指一挥。人类用不到地球历史三十分之一的时间创造了惊世骇俗的种种奇迹，并且在以一种深刻而无所不及的方式改变着这个我们赖以生存和发展的家园。也许人类注定要为自己的归宿负部分的责任。

我自从来到这个生机无限的蓝色星球，就亲眼目睹了后工业时代带给人们生活方式、社会理念、价值取向等诸多方面的深刻冲击。但十七年的生活经历告诉我：这个世界并不是由数字支配的机器和机器般冷漠的人们主宰的；它理应由有血有肉、有情有义的活生生的人构成绝对主体。

回眸我十几年的心路历程，懵懂无知的少年时期曾带给我无尽的悔恨——我曾是那样执著地追求于所爱，一如我对蕴藏着深邃奥秘的大自然之痴迷……然而，一次所谓的“失败”竟让我捏着绝望与自弃的鸩酒之杯醉复醒，醒复醉。虽然也曾以“如烟往事俱忘却，心底无私天地宽”来慰藉一颗总是因为多情而受伤的心，可是有些人、有些事却是那般刻骨铭心，岂是轻易所能淡忘？诚如元稹所叹：“曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云”……

不错，她是我中学时代开始时最痴迷的人，也是我中学时代结束时最依恋的人——

虽然，这只是一种无望的单相思。

如同守望月宫中的嫦娥能来赴一场人间的相聚，美好然而虚幻。我曾不止一次问过自己：她何以如此地吸引你，令你如着魔般魂不守舍，不能自拔？美貌？才学？颖慧？气质？……最后却总是在满脑子她的浅淡笑靥与温文吐属之中沉沉睡去，睡得很香，很香……

后来，我终于发现了解脱的“灵丹妙药”：“两眼不见心上人，一心只读圣贤书。”这是一种痛苦的煎熬——正如梭罗在思念不能相见的挚爱的女友时所悲叹的：“爱情是不可救药的，唯有爱之弥甚之一法耳！”……于是，我开始试图寻找能“代替”（荒唐！她岂是有人可以代替以万一的？！）她的人，以倾注我一腔的热情；但，“借酒浇愁愁更愁”，此时正是“借相思浇相思更相思”了！

……

最后，面临着名誉扫地的威胁，我终于决定“力戒相思之情”，好好学习，天天向上。不知是否因此感动了苍天，以至降予我一份清华录取通知书（虽然明知考取清华殊非幸致）？当一切尘埃落定之后，向前一望，——她，就在最高点，朝我嫣然一笑……

惊奇？不，是惊，更是喜！也许有人仍然用多年前那份拙劣而幼稚的“情书”来充当谈资与笑料；但此时，我脑中涌现出的是贾宝玉的不刊之论：“女儿是水做的骨肉；我见了女儿便清爽……女儿乃天地山川精华之所钟，……真真是无价之宝！”——岂其不然！其德温润，其品谦和；其才渊博，其识明达；天资聪慧，举止娴雅；思悟有道，谈吐成韵……秀外慧中，世所罕见！——此非某溢美之词，确系其人之实也。

Kiyumena，今天我们有缘，能够再度相约清华。值此金风初起、夏荷未凋之际，我诚挚地祝愿你、也祝愿我能永葆真纯之心、温润之品！有如古语所云：“惟大英雄能本色，是真名士自风流！”愿祈苍穹，恭叩，恭叩……

谢亦萧

2006.8.8(丙戌年立秋翌日) 于 江南轩

Justyre

Aug 8th, 2006 at Pavilion of Southwaters

Second Things Second

Since my failure to find proper methods to circumvent the GFW in the past few months, it has taken me a great deal of efforts to manage the establishment of a talking place here at Blogspot...Gratefully, this problem no longer exists, at least for now.

Well, I am not quite sure what to look for in an actual personal blog, in terms of what to see, what to tell, or what to discuss. Three years ago I had my first experience with some analog of 'blog' at an SNS website dedicated to Chinese college students. It was not long before I found out that it functions through strict control of the users' thoughts by means of 'no banned terms allowed' and things like that. I have been having the wish to escape since.

The politics of any country in this world is sort of confusing and an immense machinery through which the life of millions of people are affected. The very foundation of a sustainable, or 'supported', form of politics should, in my view, be willing to undertake the public appeals as its primary mission. This is much easier said than done.

Now, I would like to give a somewhat big picture of the development of this blog. There should be several language blocks, definitely, such as Chinese, English, Japanese, and plausibly Korean. As for science and arts, the blocks will be introduced when necessary.

To conclude, I am a Chinese youngster and is currently after my dream to transform my specialized field. It's gonna be tough, I understand, but till now no obstacles have changed my mind even a bit. I am striving for the big dream--a personal one--of creating one of the coziest homes in the world, with my beloved.

First Things First

Dear friends,

Welcome to my blog here.

Before introducing this place, I have a few complaints to make. I feel so sorry that when my first post here was almost done, the omnipresent GFW came to sight and cut away what I had written by a slash...as a consequence, I have made up my mind to write offline and then paste to post so as to ensure that my work does not simply end up in vain.

Well, now I'd like to explain why I have chosen this Google service as my gathering room of essays, ideas and thoughts. My life with some analog of 'blogs' actually started much earlier, that is around three years ago, with an SNS website in China for college students to share information and socialize. I once considered this to be an adequate place for blogging; however, it was not long before I found that the control over freedom of expression is tough, mostly by means of regulating a pool of 'sensitive words' that mustn't be present in any written stuffs. There was a period when 'Mao Zedong'(Chairman Mao) was considered 'sensitive'...and I feel confined and slowly going insane, so escape seems to be the best choice.

Here I shall plan the structure of my blog. There should definitely be language and culture sections, such as Chinese, English, Japanese, and plausibly Korean. Meanwhile, some sorts of science and arts sections may sequentially come to existence when necessary.

The two core words for my idea in the construction of this space are 'truth' and 'thought'. I hope you will feel free to talk about anything I am posting here.

Thank you for reading this.

Justyre,

Oct 4th, 2009, at Cab of Justyre

P.S. The four Chinese words in the banner picture means: FREEDOM, SERENITY, EQUALITY, MAGNANIMITY.